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The year went by faster than Ben Johnson in his heyday and, as has been our custom for the past few decades, we tried to imagine some New Year's resolutions being made by people in sports -- a few serious, most of them not so much.
- Michael (Pinball) Clemons, president of the Argonauts: I will not read How To Run For Political Office in Toronto -- at least not this year.
- Paul Maurice, head coach of the Maple Leafs: I will have my checking line and first defensive pair on the ice in the last minute of every game.
- Alexei Ponikarovsky and Jason Blake, Leafs wingers: I will not fool around with the puck at the opposition's blue line with less than a minute to go in the game.
- Bryan Colangelo, president and GM of the Raptors: I will not search for a Manhattan condo -- at least until the Raptors win an NBA title.
- Paul Henderson, Olympic sailor: I will hack into the federal government's computers and not take out more than $30 million annually to give to amateur sports.
- Terrell Owens, Dallas Cowboys wide receiver: I will enrol in an Emily Post course on manners.
- Tony Romo, Cowboys quarterback: I will see my girlfriends the night after my games, not during them.
- Brian Burke, Anaheim Ducks executive vice-president/GM: I will not send my resume to Larry Tanenbaum -- at least until June.
- Mo Johnston, head coach, Toronto FC: I will not give in to temptation and lace up the cleats to solve my team's problems around the net.
- Chris Bosh, Raptors forward: I will enrol in correspondence courses to learn Spanish, Italian, Portuguese and Slovenian.
- Chris Rudge, Canadian Olympic Committee CEO: I will enrol in a speed-correspondence course in Chinese.
- Colin Campbell, NHL executive vice-president: I will consult with top cop Julian Fantino on proper preventative sentencing.
- Gary Bettman, NHL commissioner and Paul Kelly, NHLPA executive director: We will agree to hire Richard Pound to install a meaningful drug-testing program.
- Bud Selig, MLB commissioner and Donald Fehr, MLBPA executive director: We will agree to hire Richard Pound to install a meaningful drug-testing program.
- David Stern, NBA commissioner and Billy Hunter, NBAPA executive director: We will agree to hire Richard Pound to install a meaningful drug-testing program.
- Roger Goodell, NFL commissioner and Gene Upshaw, NFLPA executive director: We will agree to hire Richard Pound to install a meaningful drug-testing program.
- Carlo Colaiacovo, Leafs defenceman: I will not ski, play squash, basketball or soccer, ride dirt bikes, climb stairs or break dance.
- Steve Simmons, Toronto Sun columnist: I will not write about John Ferguson Jr. -- at least until after the all-star break.
- Paul Godfrey, president and CEO of the Blue Jays: I will not get business cards printed that read "Toronto Bills."
- Canada's world junior hockey team: We will make it four championships in a row.
- All Sun readers: We will have a healthy, prosperous and happy New Year 2008.
GROSSLY ABBREVIATED
We are still a bit short of last year's Variety Village Christmas Fund totals, but hoping that in the next few days our readers will help us to surpass the $30,000 figure. We thank Tommy Smythe and the Conn Smythe Foundation for a recent donation of $1,000 and to Colin Lorimer for another $1,000 on behalf of the Dawnbusters Breakfast Club, including his own $250 ... Other recent contributions came from Allan Noss of Willowdale ($50), Keith E. MacInnes of Toronto ($500), Elizabeth M. Gross and Elizabeth E. Gross (each with $100), Ron Brown of Hamilton ($25), Larry Graham of Etobicoke ($20), Marie Kapasky of Toronto ($5), William Gibson of North York ($15), George Oliver of Milton ($25), John McLean of Milton ($20), S. Ferber of Toronto ($20), Charles Weiss of Toronto ($15), Carl Anderson of Toronto ($10) and Len $10). Thank you all and keep sending in some money to help the kids at Variety Village.
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VARIETY VILLAGE DONATIONS
Keith E. MacInnes $500
Elizabeth M. Gross $100
Elizabeth Gross $100
Joel Colomby $20
Ron Brown $25
Marie Kapasky $5
Larry Graham $20
George Oliver $25
John McLean $20
William Gibson $15
Carl Anderson $10
Len Slaney $10
Charles Weiss $15
S. Ferber $20
TOTAL $885
TO DATE $24,318.50