Contrary to what many wives, girlfriends or co-workers would have you believe, you're not a loser for spending an inordinate amount of time watching, shaping and scouting your fantasy football team.
However, you are indeed a giant nerd if you think for even the briefest of moments anyone else in the world cares about your team.
Yes, opening week of the NFL season is an exciting time for even the most casual of football fans, but that doesn't excuse poolsters from breaking the most important rule of North America's fastest growing pastime -- keep it to yourself.
There's no better way to bore your colleague or drive a wedge between you and your spouse than by nattering on about the performance of your team.
The only people eligible for such discourse are those in your league, and, to be frank, most of them don't want to hear about your alleged genius or obvious shortcomings.
Make no mistake, hockey, golf, baseball and football pools are a wonderful way to stay in tune with your favourite sport. They can make boring matchups suddenly relevant and watchable.
But every once in awhile, most poolies need to be reminded it's called fantasy for a reason -- it's not real.
So stop bragging or complaining out loud. In turn, co-workers will stop pointing and laughing behind your back.
Now more notes, quotes and anecdotes from a sports world wondering what's tougher to figure out: The BCS system, the Fedex Cup or the NHLPA?
AROUND THE HORN
It's been so long since Theo Fleury played in the NHL that the kids updating Slam.ca posted a picture of Marc-Andre Fleury alongside the Sun's scoop of Theo's signing by the Flames ... We're still chuckling over the fact staff at Lynx Ridge had to turn most of their driving range mats around to accommodate the inordinate number of lefties teeing it up at Team Canada's golf outing last month ... It speaks volumes of Jason Smith's character to see the Calgarian retire and decline US$2.6 million in guaranteed money instead of simply collecting a paycheque while hobbling through a season while his heart wasn't in it ... If several NFL teams are having trouble selling enough tickets to lift TV blackouts, how screwed is the NHL going to be this year? ... Kudos to all those who supported the LPGA and, in doing so, proved conclusively once again to the RCGA that the Canadian Open/PGA Tour will be here as soon as someone builds a course long enough to host it ... For those who stopped keeping track, that's 22 straight Grand Slams in which Roger Federer has reached the semifinals, obliterating the old record of 10, which is held by Ivan Lendl.
PARTING GIFTS
Seeing Kent Nilsson caddie for wife Helen Alfredsson at Priddis Greens served as a reminder that his trade to the Minnesota North Stars earned the Flames a draft pick that landed Joe Nieuwendyk. In turn, Nieuwy's trade to the Dallas Stars brought Jarome Iginla to town. In short, Calgary thanks you Magic Man ... The handful of baseball fans in town may have noticed a rarity in pro ball last week, when the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim fielded a lineup that saw all nine batters batting over .300 ... The Randy Chevrier Useless Timeless Cliche of the Week: "The bus was not invented as a convenient means of mass transport, but rather somewhere to throw teammates under when you have no explanation for your own weaknesses." ... And for those 'nerds' wondering, Saints quarterback Drew Brees' six touchdown tosses against Detroit yesterday loosely translates into three majors against a real team.
ERIC.FRANCIS@SUNMEDIA.CA
