It took more than a dozen weeks for the spoiled, snivelling suck hole to grant the media minions he looks at down his nose and the faithful fans who pay his salary a full 15 minutes of his precious summer Friday.
When he did finally complete a weak attempt at clearing the stench that hovers over his trade demands, Dany Heatley had somehow managed to shave even more layers off his eroding star.
You did yourself and the Senators more harm than good with Friday’s conference call, Dany Boy.
In retrospect, you should have kept your yap shut.
Since word leaked — and really, who the hell cares how it got out? — that Heatley wanted to be moved, most everybody’s reaction has been the same.
Surely, it’s not just about ice time. Surely, it’s not just about how much of a power play he works. The Senators are improving under their new, no-name coach. That’s what matters, right? Surely, there’s something else, something personal causing Heatley to sully his reputation so badly.
Well, Friday he had the chance to do a little repairing. All he had to say was “there’s something else, something personal.” There would have been no follow-up questions. Do reporters ever ask him how he’s dealing with the death of Dan Snyder? No.
He wouldn’t have had to elaborate had he a “personal” card to play. But he didn’t, because he couldn’t. There is nothing else.
This is all about what he calls his “diminished role.”
Unbelievable, isn’t it? Oh, yes, and what a hot, steaming load of crap, too.
How can Heatley say he’s not an “integral” part of the Senators? They paid him more than any other team paid any other player last season. They count on him to carry the heaviest end of their goal scoring. Is he stunned? That’s one of the biggest roles on the club. If there’s some diminishing involved, is it only because the coach isn’t giving him as much of an opportunity? Or is his effort and finishing touch part of the problem? Like the chicken or the egg question, if Heatley was producing more, there wouldn’t be an ice-time issue.
No. 15 is your classic finger-pointer. It’s never his fault. His point totals have dropped by 33 in the last two seasons. He’s gone from being a 50-goal scorer to a 39-goal scorer. Why? Gotta be Cory Clouston. Gotta be that he’s playing two or three minutes less per game, and only half of power plays. It’s not Dany Boy.
Heatley is nothing close to the “team player” he declared himself Friday. He is selfish and immature. Should he remain a Senator, he will be a dressing room cancer. Just as he will eventually be on the next team that acquires him.
After Friday, if there is a GM that is still willing to part with valuable assets to have his team handcuffed to an inflated contract for the next five years, he should have his head read. If tests come back negative and he still makes the trade, he needs to be fired when Heatley doesn’t like the way things are going and demands to be dealt.
You’d think Heatley would appreciate and cherish the new lease on life he received after having his trade wish granted by Atlanta, where he was the driver of the car in an unfortunate accident that killed his teammate and friend. You’d think after surviving that experience, something as small potatoes as less power play time he’d easily be able to shake off.
“The two (trade demands) have been totally different circumstances,” Heatley said. “Coming out of Atlanta, it was a life decision, it was an off-ice thing. This trade (demand) is totally hockey.”
And this situation is like any other we’ve ever seen.
Before he was whisked away after a mere quarter of an hour to meet other commitments in an orchestrated exit that was poorly disguised, Heatley mentioned his “love” for the fans in Ottawa. The feeling — judging by the flood of e-mails I received after the radio broadcast of his bull — is not mutual.
One fan said that afterwards, he wanted to “barf.” Many more will be hurling all sorts of insults his way should Heatley play again for Ottawa.
Will that happen? Who knows at this point?
As unimaginable as it is that another team would gamble on this quitter, it’s difficult to see Heatley in a Senators jersey by the time the season opens. Ray Emery was a distraction? If Heatley stays, the team itself is going to be the sideshow.
Meanwhile, Heatley didn’t answer my question when I asked him if he was going to give back his assistant captain’s ‘A’.
How can a guy who says he wants out be given a leader’s letter? He can’t. It needs to be ripped off his chest.
“I’ll be at camp if I’m still a Senator,” was all Heatley would say on the subject. “And I’ll be ready to go.”
And I’ll be sure to ask you each day if you’re happy with the ice time you’re getting, Dany Boy, and if there’s anything else you want Clouston to be doing differently.
Who knows, you might get to coach one day yourself. A kid’s team in Kelowna, maybe. After this fiasco, your NHL career is sure to be shorter than you hoped.
At this rate, you’re going to whine yourself right out of the league.