There was much hilarity in the Miami Heat locker room prior to the game against the Raptors last night, as Heat centre Shaquille O'Neal kept leaving a tube of Boudreaux's Butt Paste -- a real product -- in the lockers of his unsuspecting teammates.
The other players kept throwing it back at Shaq, who would bellow, "Hey, I left that in your locker for a reason."
Shaq said he has ordered the stuff on the internet from a fellow Louisiana State University alumnus who owns the company. Shaq claimed the butt paste already has made the guy a millionaire.
At one point, Shaq even elicited a smile from the ultra-serious Alonzo Mourning.
"Hey, 'Zo, I can get you this commerical," Shaq said. " 'I'm Alonzo Mourning of the Miami Heat. I play with Shaq, but I also use this butt paste every day. It's what makes me strong.' I get get you a million bucks for that, 'Zo. Maybe two million."
Mourning politely passed.
The lure of the beautiful people who frequent the South Beach area of Miami on a nightly basis is seen by some as a significant home-court advantage for the Heat. In other words, players from rival teams may stay out a little too late the night before games in Miami.
However, O'Neal was not really buying that theory.
"You have to say to yourself, there are two types of partying," Shaq said. "I don't drink, so I can listen to music and stay out all night and then come to work the next day. So you have to categorize what types of partying these guys are doing. When (other teams) come (to play the Heat in Miami) has nothing to do with the parties. It's about what we do as a team, and when we play like that, we're hard to beat."
Coincidentally, former Raptors coach Butch Carter used to theorize that the Raptors should play as many home games early on Sunday afternoons as possible, since visiting players tend to like the Toronto nightlife. But hey, maybe some of the Raptors like it, too, which would tend to neutralize things, right?