We interrupt this National Hockey League season to bring you more snazzy rhetoric from Ted Saskin, Bill Daly and Chris Chelios. Pay attention at your own peril. We now return to our regularly scheduled lockout programming.
THIS AND THAT
Michael Bishop, your 15 minutes are up .... Raptors fans treated Vince Carter precisely the way he has treated them for too many years -- with absolute indifference ... This is how small the Kobe Bryant-Shaquille O'Neal feud became in Los Angeles: When both played for the Lakers, they each insisted on having their ankles taped by different members of the training staff ... Jesse Lumsden may have the CIS rushing record -- and the numbers are remarkable -- but there's at least one CFL scout who will tell you that York running back Andre Durie has more speed and better moves ... Wearing those sunglasses on the sidelines we have to ask: Is Matt Dunigan coaching or modelling? .... Has CFL officiating always been this terrible or I am just watching more games this season? ... Go figure Carlos Delgado. He ends the baseball season saying he wants to play for a contender and then has his agent open negotiations with the Blue Jays, who, according to their own general manager, won't be in contention until sometime in the next millennium.
HEAR AND THERE
The first time the Blue Jays won the World Series, Mike Timlin induced Otis Nixon into a game-ending groundout. Both were in the news this week: Timlin was getting kicked around by the Yankees in Game 1 of the ALCS and Nixon is apparently on his way to prison for, among other things, allegedly threatening his bodyguard with a knife. Which makes you wonder: Why does Nixon need a bodyguard and is that something Timlin should consider? ... Weird stuff: Watching Blue Jays castoff Pete Munro starting a game for Houston in the NLCS ... Pedro Martinez is considered a shoo-in for the Hall of Fame and Jack Morris can't get a sniff, but who would you rather have pitching with a playoff game on the line? Same for Dave Stewart, who won't get in the Hall, either ... I handed this sentence to John Avery and he dropped it ... Living up to his name: Mike Mularkey, head coach, Buffalo Bills ... Another victim on the growing list of steroid abusers: Ken Caminiti, dead at 41 ... And then there was the story of the NHL player who had a little microphone attached to him as he got ready for a post-game interview. Just before the interview, he was asked to count to 10 and do a mike check for the director. "Out loud?" he asked.
SCENE AND HEARD
My three favourite Penguins: Mario Lemieux, Rick Kehoe and Burgess Meredith ... Favourite Penguin line: Shock, Shack and Schinkel ... From the department of good things happen to good people: On the night the chant "Who's Your Daddy" resonated at Yankee Stadium, John Olerud hit the game winning home run and his wife, Kelly, gave birth the next morning ... According to Sports Illustrated, fantasy football players are costing employers $2.7 million US a year in lost productivity. And that's just in our office ... If Rafael Araujo is the answer, I'd like to know the question ... When was the last time the Dolphins played the Bills in Week 5 of the NFL schedule and neither team had a win? Like ever? ... Who would have ever believed it, Bill Belichick, legendary coach? ... So, there we were Friday night, happy with our subscription to Raptors TV, the television set on but no Raptors game. Instead, Miami Heat pre-season basketball, without Shaq. Can someone please explain?
AND ANOTHER THING
Why is it only Major League Baseball can't find a way to televise two championship games on the same night without having them played at the same time ... Did every one of Mike Keenan's buddies get a role in Making The Cut, the CBC series? ... The people of Atlanta may be bored with the Braves but taking 13 different lineups to the playoffs 13 years in a row has to say something about the talents of manager Bobby Cox ... Joe Torre just looks like someone you'd want to play for. I don't why, he just does ... Yet another reason why Edmonton is a better hockey town than Toronto: The American Hockey League Road Runners sold 6,000 season tickets in Edmonton and opened to a crowd Friday night of more than 16,000. In Toronto, they sold about six season tickets and played regularly to houses of 600 ... Too bad the Jays had to release shortstop Chris Woodward. Nice guy. Loved the city. He and his wife did all kinds of charity work. The one thing he couldn't do was play ... Jerry Rice was the greatest wide receiver to ever play. Operative word being was. Now, he's in decline and everyone seems to know it but him ... And hey, whatever became of Mel Profit?