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 Corey Koskie. (SUN/Fred Thornhill) |
Corey Koskie considers it the best prank he ever witnessed. Torii Hunter wholeheartedly agrees. Even Minnesota Twins general manager Terry Ryan got a good belly laugh out of it.
David Ortiz -- then a member of the Twins, now the designated hitter for the world champion Boston Red Sox -- was the victim.
As Koskie tells the story, an unknown member of the Twins managed to load Ortiz's underwear (which was hanging in his locker at the time) with peanut butter. And not just any peanut butter.
"This was the chunky stuff. It wasn't the smooth kind," Koskie says.
Ortiz not only put on the underwear without noticing anything untoward but got fully dressed and was on his way to the parking lot before Hunter caught up to him and let him in on the secret everyone else in the clubhouse already knew.
According to Hunter, Ortiz only believed him after he had actually dropped his pants and pulled back the underwear to reveal the sticky mess in his shorts.
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"That might have been the funniest thing we ever did," Hunter says. "The entire team was on the floor crying we were laughing so hard."
Koskie can't tell the story without laughing, either.
"I don't know what's in that dude's underwear the rest of the time but not to notice you have chunky peanut butter in there ..."
Hunter swears he has no idea who was responsible for the peanut butter incident, but Koskie is considered a prime suspect. Koskie pleads innocent to all charges.
"I get blamed for a lot of stuff but I've never pulled a prank," Koskie says almost straightfaced. "Instead of having the reputation as the prankster, I should have the rep as the fall guy. I get pranked more than anyone. Don't let anyone fool you."
Hunter tells a different tale.
"Those guys over there," Hunter says pointing to the Toronto clubhouse yesterday prior to the Jays' 5-2 win over the Twins in their Grapefruit league opener, "I feel for those guys. (Koskie's) the type who will put a snake in your locker and it will strike at you.
"This guy, he is dangerous. I can't be alone with him. I can't walk with him. If he calls me around the corner to come to talk to him, I don't go. I'll walk the other way. I don't care how serious his problem may be. I can't. I'm afraid of him."
Even Ryan calls bull when he's told of Koskie's disclaimer.
"He was one of the main ingredients in most of the pranks," Ryan says. "He could play a good joke with the best of them but if you're gong to play them you also have to be able to take them and he was one of those guys people kind of liked to get after.
"He's a little bit of a different egg. He can very discreetly go about his business and get the job done on the field but when it comes to having fun off the field, I would say he's right up there with the tops, him and Ortiz were two of the best."
The other thing both Ryan and Hunter agree on is Koskie will be missed in Minneapolis.
"There's no question he will be missed here, on the field and in the clubhouse," Ryan says. "He was one of those guys that had a good time playing the game."
From the outside, pranks like peanut butter in the shorts might seem somewhat childish and probably are, but even Ryan will tell you they have a very important place in baseball.
HUMOUR
"When you spend as much time as we do with each other, there ought to be a lot of humour," Ryan says. "Our club, we have a lot of fun but they also know when to get serious."
Hunter says the pranks not only keep things fun but are essential to dealing with the failure everyone in the game experiences.
"It's important to keep a clubhouse loose," Hunter says. "You have to have pranks. You need to have at least two or three really funny guys in your room. They keep things fun.
"If a guy is coming to the clubhouse and he's thinking about what he did the day before, he might have had a bad day, and the clubhouse is quiet and no one is cracking any jokes, it makes it hard. You can't compete like that."
Koskie steadfastly refuses to admit any role in any prank until he is asked about the best one pulled on him.
"I don't want to give anyone credit," he says at first, refusing to play along. "When it happens to me I don't say boo because that's the fun part. The reaction."
Then Koskie relents.
"I will give you one that (Paul) Molitor got me with. He put itching powder in my clothes the first year in the big leagues. Molly got me once, but I got him back."
All Hunter knows is that tomorrow when the Twins visit Dunedin for a return match, Koskie will not catch him unaware.
"I don't have anything planned for Corey, but I'm sure he has something planned for me," he says.