SLAM! Sports
SLAM! Boxing
COLUMNS
CANADIAN PUNCH
UPPERCUTS
LOOKING BACK
GALLERIES
INTERACTIVE
ALSO ON SLAM!
Dollars vs. sense
If you picked (a), you are an eternal optimist, probably on the phone to your broker even now, buying up Bre-X shares; (b), you're convinced the world is out to get you, and it probably will.
If you picked (c), you watched yesterday's live telecast of the Nevada State Athletic Commission's Mike Tyson hearing -- which, if nothing else, gave the world a whole new definition of a crock.
Interesting procedure, that. The commissioners hear all the pleas and ask the deputy attorney general to clear up a couple of legal points. The chairman asks for and gets a motion that Tyson's licence be revoked. It is seconded. The vote is unanimous. Tyson's licence is revoked for life, subject to annual review should he reapply.
No retiring to a back room for discussion. No huddle at the podium. All in favor? Boom! Done.
In other words, the decision was made before the meeting was ever convened. And I would bet you the reasoning went something like this:
"Look, we all know the guy is going to fight again. There's too much money involved to keep him out. So we can't toss him for good, but if we suspend him for only a year all the do-gooders will be on our tails.
"So here's what we do: We fine him $3 million and suspend him for life, which under the rule can be subject to annual review. We're tough, everybody's happy. In a year, assuming he hasn't mugged anybody or met another beauty queen or been found hanging around the waiting room of an ear specialist, we reinstate him.
"A year is no big deal for him. He wouldn't have fought for another six months anyway. He's happy, the pay-TV people are happy. It's got no downside, and we wind up looking like guardians of the public bleeping morality.
"Oh, one more thing: At the hearing, look really stern, OK?"
The hard fact is that neither the Nevada commission nor any of the other state commissions -- which under a Congressional order passed July 1 must recognize each other's suspensions -- can stop Tyson from fighting again if he likes. They can only stop him from fighting in the U.S.
True, any man who gets into the ring with him will be subject to sanctions in Nevada, which means the U.S. But you think Lennox Lewis wouldn't risk that for a bout with Tyson in Wembley Stadium? You think George Foreman, at the end of a career anyway, would take more than 10 seconds to accept $10 million or so to face Tyson in Tokyo?
The ever-tiresome Ferdie Pacheco was on TV carping that the parole board has Tyson on a tight leash that might keep him from leaving the country to fight. Hooey. The parole board quarantines people who are deemed likely to flee. Where's Tyson going to go?
It is not and never has been a question of whether or not Tyson should be thrown out of boxing. Of course he should. And if the heavyweight division was loaded with contenders the public were dying to see, they'd have trash-canned him in a minute.
It's not. Hands up, everybody who'll buy pay-TV to see Michael Moorer fight anybody. Or Lewis, or the immortal Frans Botha, now listed as the No. 1 contender for Evander Holyfield's crown. But they'd pay to see what Tyson will do next. They'd shell out for Tyson-Holyfield III. And eventually, they will.